Making Choices

My leg hurts. But the pain reminds me of my day. I sit in my room tonight icing several parts of my body, yet I am in awe.

It was my second day of boxing practice. The first day I had been too concerned with not dying. But the past 6hours I spent amongst a group of Gods most eloquently created creatures. Buff and sculpted, these boys are pure muscle. I trained, than I stopped to watch the scene around me unfold.

The gym is outdoors, not big and quite dusty, it contains three punching bags that have been used and abused. The remainder of the floor is covered by the two boxing rings occupied with several pairs of boys fighting at a time. And in the few square feet of space that is left I watch people stretch, warmup, wrap their hands etc. 

The trainers sit, lounging as they pass around cigarettes. Occasionally orders are shouted out, and they walk over to adjust a technique. Sweating (&boy was there alot of sweat),  we repeat and repeat until it feels right. Hours pass and everything slows down.

Smoke drifts over, people start fooling around, the older boys gang up on the younger ones, tieing them down &dragging them around the gym. Sometimes they cry, but always they come back for revenge. 

At varying paces, we gather around the main ring. Sitting, stretching, flexing, conversations begin in pairs but before we know it, there is a shared joke that has everyone included in the laughter. It was a long and painful day, but as I gather my belongs and head home, I can guarantee I’ll be back again tomorrow. 

Today I finally separated myself from the life I used to lead. I, naively, thought it would be possible to both lead a fulfilling life here, while continuing to be apart of my family’s life back home. 

After several fustrations and disappointments, I took a moment to gather myself and the confusion cleared itself up. In order to really make this my home, I had to occupy myself with the daily activities of those around me, not stay up to date on the activities back home.

Though it was difficult, its kind of like breaking up with someone. You have to make a clean cut. With my mother I refuse to cut the cord (hopefully you can understand that), but with those friends that helped me get here, I’m learning this is something I have to do without them. 

A year isn’t as long as it seems. In about 360 days, I will see all of you again. &when I do, you can catch me up on all that I’ve missed. Until then, wish me luck <3

The irony of it is that the best food was available in abundance during the one month in which we could only eat after sunset. 

There is so much I could say about tomorrow, the ending of this beautiful month of Ramadan, the celebrations that await us tomorrow as Muslims all over the world take this day to thank God and spread glad tidings. The dresses, the food, the decoration, so much going on.

But it is 30minutes till I break my fast for the last time this month and I am surprised to find myself sad.

Expected and anticipated, I didn’t imagine it’d feel quite like this. For the first time in my life, I will be celebrating this holiday without my family. And though I knew that before I arrived here, as preparations for the holiday begin, I hear my mothers voice in my head and I play back memories of all the Eids before. 

So tonight, I can’t really write about how amazing everything will be. Tonight I would like to wish my mother Eid Mubarak. May the blessings of this day be with you. And to my sisters, thank you for every song we sung obnoxiously loud on this day. I have been blessed to have this family and to have those memories. 

Tomorrow morning, I will be making new ones with a new family. Wish me luck. 

I’ve been to a good number of College Fairs while in America. In elementary school, middle school, high school. College fairs are a way for schools to give kids something to look foward to. A way to say, “When you finish your time here, you can actually have some fun learning.”

Today I saw that American students are missing out, bigg time. Songklah Research University in Southern Thailand had a science fair today, and compared to the ice cream and cotton candy and mini snickers offered at most fairs, I was in pure shock.

Of course there were the obligatory presentations and information boards, but there was more. After walking a couple of blocks away from the central building, I found the pot of gold.

Outside, several blocks were closed off where vendors had set up shop. There were billions of food vendors, clothes vendors, jewelry shops and to my amazement, animal shops. Go to a school fair and come home with a bird or bunny for 150bhts (approx. 5USD), or better yet, a puppy for 500bht (approx 16USD). Jackpot. Any kid would be in heaven. And frankly, I kind was :)

I know I didn’t learn a thing about science today. But this was definitely the best science fair I have ever been to in my life. 

Sometimes you overlook the things you accomplish &the places you’ve gone. I do that often. I tend to follow the philosophy that success is celebrated when you’ve reached the finish line.

This morning I woke up and thought, “Crap, I’m in THAILAND.” I don’t know quite how it happened, and I don’t remember ever feeling uncertain about this. It just seemed like something I had to do. 

Than I thought about it some more and I realized, I come from a refugee family where prior to this summer had never had a college graduate in our midst. My mother doesn’t speak English and we’re definitely on the bottom half of the socioeconomic scale. And yet, here I am. In Thailand on a competitive State Department funded scholarship. 

I’m taking a moment to acknowledge that this is indeed a great accomplishment. And though I am nowhere near the finish line, this seems like a pretty good place to take a water break.